Guess there’s no getting around it. Sometimes being in another country can be fascinating, or confusing…to all concerned.
SPOILER ALERT: occasionally things happen when we travel that may not be in the best of taste.
Night before last several of us girls and my husband Mike went out to dinner in the most beautiful location. The restaurant was perched high on a hilltop, overlooking the blue Mediterranean. We were seated at a beautiful table and handed menus, which were in Greek with a bit of English description for each item. A tall, lanky waiter who spoke English came to take our order. He was very nice but something seemed a bit ‘different’ about him, although at the time I couldn’t decide what it was. More on that later.
Anyway, he took our order asking if we wanted bread. Here in Greece there is an additional charge for bread, so we declined to order it. Off he went to put in our order, returning quickly with our wine and asking again if we wanted to order bread? Geez, I know the Greek economy is down, but no, we don’t want bread.
The first dish brought to the table was what could be termed a “mystery dish”.
As in most restaurants, the dish was served by a completely different waiter than the one who took our order. None of us seemed to recognize this dish as something we had ordered, but since we girls had ordered chicken salad we assumed this weird one belonged to Mike. He, however was not convinced. Calling the serving waiter over he asked, “What is this?”
Waiter: I don’t know.
Mike: What’s in it?
Waiter: I don’t know.
At that point we retrieved the menu and Mike pointed out what he had ordered.
Mike: Is this it?
Waiter: I don’t know.
Mike: This looks like some sort of dip. Should I eat it with bread?
Waiter: I don’t know.
Mike was getting impatient. “Do you work here?” he asked sarcastically.
Waiter: No, I don’t.
Hmmm. That explained it. A guy off the streets waiting tables.
So, off went Mr. UnsureOfHimself to find someone who could help him answer our questions. Soon the man who had taken our order came strutting confidently over to our table.
“Yes sir,” he stated firmly, “this is what you ordered.”
“Really?” Mike exclaimed. “This looks like some sort of dip. Wouldn’t it be better on bread?”
“YEEESSSSSSS, exactly!” he said, throwing up his hands in evident desperation. “I asked you many times but you insisted no bread.” He may just as well have said, “DUHHHH”.
Suddenly it occurred to me what seemed a bit off about our waiter. He was staring at me with one eye, while the other looked…well, someplace else. He had a glass eye!
Yes, I could see that now. Psst. Girls. Did you notice that our waiter has a glass eye?
“Do you mean which waiter?”
“No, which eye is glass?”
“The one that’s not looking at you.”
“But he’s not looking at me so I can’t tell.”
“Yes he IS looking at you. He’s looking at me with one eye and the other is looking at you, but not really looking at you. Got it?”
“Ok, yes, got it. But whatever you do, should he choke on a bit of bread do NOT give him the Heimlich.” (I warned you about the bad taste).
You can only imagine the laughs we had over dinner that evening.
That was only one scenario. Not all of them are the same, of course. These experiences usually even each other out. For example, last night we were served unlimited wine by a Greek god. Sigh. Here he is. This is the best shot I could get under the circumstances because he was pouring MY wine and it was difficult to keep my mind on what I was supposed to be doing. Funny, no one cared if they were served the correct dish or not.
Before I rush off, want to show you a couple of interesting things the students have been doing. First, here’s a wonderful piece painted by Luanne. Very nice.
We have also had some fun with Brusho pigments. If you haven’t used them, they are dry pigments that can be sprinkled either onto wet or dry paper. The ink pigments explode outward when you add water, making very interesting backgrounds.
Here are just a couple that have been done, and also a photo of how they are developing them…one as a seascape and the other as a cat sitting in leaves. How interesting!
It’s late here and we’re off to another adventure tomorrow. So good night for now. I’ll try to write again.
I laughed right out loud at this one! Mostly, because I could envision myself along with you all! A glass eye!! … and of course bread!!
Poor dear…. both the waiter and Mike!
I once had a Greek God (from a garden nursery), plant a tree in our backyard!
That was over 30 years ago……
one NEVER forgets those Greek Gods!!!
Continue safe travels and continue to have fun!!!
I just love it all. Kathie, I love hearing the inside stories. The ones that Anthony Bourdain does not experience and Fodor’s does not print. I am still laughing. All this and inspired painting, too! Pass the waiter, …. I mean the bread!!!
Oh, Kathie. You are hilarious. I can picture you and Mike having the time of your life. Is Sylvia there by chance? Loved that lady. Isn’t life grand? Will be teaching a batik class for the Arts and Design Society in September here in Niceville. Just ordered a bunch of your bulldog patterns. So glad you are having such a good time. But when you and Mike are around, it can’t be anything but wonderful.
Love you guys.
Sue Tarken, I was the one the waiter was not looking at with his glass eye!!! This was such a hilarious night. The waiter that said he didn’t work there but was helping out knew nothing!!! The funniest thing was Mike asked us, “who knew we needed bread?” The waiter ( the one that worked there and knew EVERYTHING) overheard Mike and he answered, “I knew!!!” We laughed our heads off.
Love hearing about everything. You are too funny. Enjoy reading your blog and look forward to it every week
Great memories for y’all to take home. Kathie, will we be using those paints in France?
Too funny. I bet you did haveblitsvof giggles. Poor Mike. Did he ever get the bread to go with his dip?
Almost as funny as the “She’s Dead” and cement pig story.
Thanks Kathie for sharing your adventure. I was in an auto accident about 5 weeks ago. Young l day ran a red light and hit my side of my car. 17 hours in emergency, 3 days in ICU, few more in hospital and 19 days in Nursing home. But, finally now home using a walker and cane. So it is a very nice distraction to read of all your adventures and see what you are all doing. Hope you continue having a great experience and I look forward to reading about them?
Oops, should have read a young lady ran a red light .
Linda, I’m so sorry to hear about your accident! And Deb, hope to use them in France, too.
So love hearing your always “colorful stories” of your travels. Would so love to join you on one of these wonderful excursions which is absolutely on my bucket list.
I love your sense of humor?,Thanks for the laugh!
SO funny! I needed a laugh today 🙂
It was even funnier the way Kathie wrote it and I was there in the middle of bread and glass eye.
You are absolutely fantastic. I hope you are saving ALL of your blogs, etc., and will put them in a book with all the beautiful paintings, photos, etc. Love reading your adventures and laughing. I also needed a laugh today. Monte from Jacquard passed away last week at the age of 40 from a blood infection.
Thank you for sharing your life with all of us. Love and hugs always. 🙂
Good job, that was exactly what happened and I am still laughing. I had such a wonderful time in Greece and you you are enjoying Spain.
That was hope you are enjoying Spain.
Thanks for sharing your hilarious experiences. We are having a fun family vacation with grandchildren at calloway gardens in Georgia. So far no problems with the language! Still lots of laughs…
Tell Mike he MUST start keeping a journal of all the funny stuff he is living with all these lucky ladies that have been able to travel abroad with you Kathie. his book would be on the bestsellers
Oh Kathy, I have laughed and laughed. So funny. Keep letting us in on all the funny tidbits. Wish I was there! Hugs.